Monday, December 13, 2010


The presence of darkness like I have never known fills the room. Accompanied by a cold that can best be described as if you were completely outside naked on a cold December night in Alaska. A cold that permeates your very soul. All was calm and normal in my room only moments earlier. I had just laid down next to my wife. She had already fallen fast asleep. I felt an overwhelming darkness approaching.

Every primitive instinct that most of us no longer use was on high alert. My entire being knew that something very bad was approaching. Time no longer existed, it was as if time had stopped. Only me and the approaching darkness existed within this dimension. An impeding dread swept over my senses. I was helpless. Whatever was approaching was not from our universe. Something that defies logic. Something our minds cannot accept or understand. Yet it exists.

I attempted to scream but no sound came out. I attempted to struggle yet I could not move. This thing wanted my soul. It wanted my soul for warmth. It was the ultimate cold. Somehow the stories of hell seemed like a joyous Floridian resort, compared to my soul being husked away to this place of eternal cold. Bone numbing fear was the only emotion discernable. My only thought, I don´t want to go into the cold. I tried to resist with my entire being. Nonetheless, I felt the darkness pulling my soul out of my body. I hovered over the top of my own body. ( It was quite surreal experience to look down at your own body, all be it, simultaneously numbingly frightening as well. If given a choice I would prefer visiting Disneyland next time.)  I was suspended over my own body in a horizontal position. I had no control. This thing was taking my very life away!

This is not the way it was suppose to happen! People say they want to die in thier sleep. Think again, How about this? I DON´T WANT TO DIE AT ALL!  To lose my soul to some unknown parasite that seeks my life energy as warmth. I was out of my element struggling was useless. Whom of us knows how to steer our soul after it has left the body?

  I am sad, But most of all afraid. An indiscribable panic grips the whole of my being.  I am now floating away towards something dark, cold and unnatural. This is it? This is how my life ends? All I represent, my life, my dreams, my thoughts, my cares. It boils down to this? I am nothing more that some other dimensional monster´s cup of coffee?

I think of my wife that I will leave behind and our unborn child. I love my wife dearly. I love her with all of my heart. The emotion of love is all that I have. I am at peace. I have love.  I am love.   Whatever happens, I feel strong again because I have found love.

I realize that I am no longer moving towards the darkness. Love is stronger than this creature. It is over as quickly as the whole episode had begun.  The darkness lifts.  I pull my wife closer to me. Kiss her gently on her forehead and hold her close for the remainder of the night. Had I imagined all of this or I am alive today because of love?  You decide.

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